A Perplexing Feeling
by Atakiri Mizuyuki
Summary: When it comes to Yugi, Yami finds himself becoming more and more frustrated with being dead. But why? A one-shot YamiXYugi I made for my Beta-reader. Fluffy. Only T for slight cursing.


SOOPER CRACK. In return for being my beta-reader (thaaaaaaanks. :3) A Perplexing Puzzle asked me to write a Yami and Yugi fan-fic. Any kind of fan fic—Yami(x)Yugi, YamiXYugi, w/e. Which translates as: NOT. HELPFUL. Ugh. Orz|||| Half the idea was that I wouldn't have to come up with it myself. XDDDDD;;; Oh well. So, because I was idealess, I told myself I would turn on my iTunes 6-star list and base the fan-fic after the first song that came on. "Precious" by Depeche Mode. WTF seriously? Sorry, you guys probably wouldn't understand, but me and my iTunes are kind of…. Yeah. It plays that song too damn much. But I made my decision, so… -o- Orzorzororzorzorz Writing a pairing that doesn't want to happen is too freaking hard. For people who can make it seem so effortless (LittleKuriboooooooh *_______*) you have my applause. That plus the fact that I'm idealess and kinda tired means canon personalities go OUT the window. This is FAN-FICTION, little characters—nobody cares what you're really like. Orz||| … I'll stop ranting now and let you read it. So, in the words of wall: "Ta-Jaaaah!"

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**A Perplexing Feeling**

_Dedicated to A Perplexing Puzzle_

Yugi sat on his bed, his head resting on his knees. His head was tilted to one side and his eyes were closed, his mouth was slightly open. He'd managed to fall asleep sitting up. Again.

Yami's fingers itched to move Yugi into a lying position, to pull the blanket over him so he wasn't cold. But… he just couldn't _do_ anything! Normally he didn't mind being a specter too much. He loved Yugi's friends, and being their friend, but… it was different. He felt like a sort of substitute to them, the friend-of-a-friend. No, he loved them, but being dead could give you a detachment from the world you came to love more than hate.

But when things came up with Yugi, not being "real", in a sense, almost hurt. When Yugi was scared, Yami couldn't hold his hand. When Yugi was about to fall over from being bumped by people bigger than him, Yami couldn't grab his arm and steady him. When Yugi won an intense duel without the Pharaoh's help, he couldn't take Yugi's hand and jump up and down with him and cheer and high-five him like Joey or Tristan or Tea could.

It was infuriating.

Yami left the forefront of Yugi's mind and retreated deep into the Room of his Mind. The twists and turns irritated him deeply, sometimes, but now they were more intense, reflecting the frustration in him now. He opened door after door, went through countless hallways that all looked the same—and he wouldn't have been surprised if he was entering the same hallway over and over again but through different entrances—until finally he appeared in a dark, lonely chamber, its walls lost in shadows, its only occupant an immense stone chair.

He dropped into it and hung his head. It was too much, sometimes. Just too. Damn. Much. He cared about Yugi immensely, but he couldn't think of any way to show the boy just how much he cared. He tried to offer his counsel and advice, but Yugi always seemed to look up to him as a parental figure. At first Yami had adored this—feeling like he was so important to Yugi, so respected. But now time had passed, and he didn't want to be respected by Yugi. He wanted to be dear to Yugi like his friends were, make his heart fill with warmth when he thought about Yami like it did with Tristan, or Joey, or Tea. He didn't want to be Yugi's parent—he wanted to be Yugi's friend.

He twisted himself in the chair so he was sitting in a different position. Not comfortable, just… different. He noticed that his head was resting over the edge of the seat; he had both arms draped over the arm rest, one leg tucked in front of him with his knee pointing to the ceiling, and the other leg over the top of the chair. Awesome.

He closed his eyes, but slowly opened them after a moment. What was he supposed to do? It had been bothering him nonstop lately—Yugi this, Yugi that. He could tell that he wanted to be close to Yugi—that was all. Important to him, loved by hi—

He froze, and his mind told him quite resolutely that that wasn't right. He didn't want to be iloved/i by Yugi. But the chaos in his mind had already quieted down, leaving only calm, smooth-as-glass water, and the simple fact.

He wanted Yugi to love him.

He smiled slightly to himself. That was his problem, then. He was in love with Yugi. And Yugi didn't think of him that way. It was amazing how easily the one thought had cleared everything up. Suddenly his problems made sense. It wasn't that he couldn't make Yugi realize he cared about him—he knew that Yugi knew. He just didn't know ihow much/i. He didn't realize that Yami didn't want to just be isomething/i to Yugi. He wanted to be everything.

He closed his eyes, the smile still on his face, and slept peacefully for the first time in a long while.

[END]


End file.
